Out now: World Soccer’s Ultimate Guide to MLS
Title: MLS: The League That Refuses to Grow Up Let’s cut through the fluff and get real about Major League Soccer. Thirty teams in its 30th season sounds like a neat little marketing gimmick, but let’s not kid ourselves—MLS is still the awkward teenager of global football. Sure, it’s not dead, but it’s far from thriving. Since 1996, MLS has been on a so-called “rollercoaster journey,” but it’s more like a merry-go-round of mediocrity. Expansion teams pop up like weeds, but where’s the quality? The league is bloated, not blossoming. It’s a classic case of quantity over quality, and the product on the pitch reflects that. The league’s structure is a Frankenstein’s monster of American sports and global football, and it shows. Playoffs? Conferences? It’s a convoluted mess that confuses more than it captivates. The single-entity system is a straitjacket, stifling clubs’ ambitions and keeping the league in a perpetual state of arrested development. And let’s talk about the so-called “stars” MLS attracts. Aging European players looking for a cushy retirement plan, not a competitive challenge. It’s a retirement home masquerading as a top-tier league. The likes of Messi and Beckham are exceptions, not the rule. Most of the time, it’s a parade of has-beens and never-weres. The league’s marketing machine loves to tout its growth, but what about the TV ratings? They’re abysmal. The average American sports fan would rather watch paint dry than sit through an MLS match. The league’s relevance is limited to niche markets and die-hard fans, not the mainstream audience it desperately craves. And let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: the lack of promotion and relegation. It’s a safety net for mediocrity, allowing underperforming teams to coast without consequence. It’s anti-competitive and anti-football, plain and simple. So, MLS, here’s the brutal truth: you’re not the future of football, you’re a sideshow. Until you embrace real competition, attract genuine talent, and stop patting yourself on the back for merely existing, you’ll remain a second-rate league in a first-rate sport. Time to grow up, MLS. The world is watching, but not for long.